• Emily Win

Free Things & Freedom

As a blogger and podcaster who listens and learns from other bloggers and podcasters, I am well aware of the messages being sent around via social media regarding quarantining. Many of the communities I'm involved with seem to preach two overarching messages in regards to what the collective "we" should be doing:

1. Use this time wisely & get things done

2. Use this time to rest & reflect

Ultimately, the binary of these two options is extremely transferrable to the way each one of us navigates our regular day-to-day lives. It comes down to a matter of what we value in life. However, as someone who values health and safety equally with productivity and opportunity, I find it quite difficult to occupy the space of unstructured time. All at once I want to sleep and recover and also write the next great screen play.

With resourcefulness being one of my best skills, I've accumulated an overwhelming amount of internet based resources to help me occupy my time. However, the question I'm asking myself now is not: "What can I do in this time?" but "What should I do in this time?"

Despite all of the binary-focused media out there, I'm going to honestly lay out what I have done and what I actually feel like doing. If you struggle with sleep and mental health like I do, I'm sure you can relate to the second list. I share these thoughts as a way of saying it's definitely okay to be confused about your role in all of this time. I'm certainly confused about what I should be doing. Hopefully you'll see that I, like many other 20 somethings, are straddling the gray area between being totally lost and feeling totally free.

A list of free resources I've utilized:

  • Headspace, an excellent mental health app that is now free

  • Downdog, a customizable yoga app that used to be subscription based

  • All of YouTube, to watch SNL, educational videos, and stupid things to feel better

  • Podcasts, but I stick to my safe usuals: To L And Back, Queery, The Daily, & Punch Up The Jam

  • Digital Library Card, because libraries are closed and I'm struggling without hardbacks

  • Online classes through coursera.com

  • Online Shows/Webinars-anything from drag to entrepreneurship to author talk backs

  • Zoom-we are all using it now, obviously

  • Zencastr-a podcasting platform that now has more functions for free

  • Church-the many churches I am/have been a part of host daily activities, all free

  • Online games- Sims, Roller Coaster Tycoon, Nancy Drew, Cards Against Humanity, you name it

A list of things I actually want to do with my free time:

  • Sleep-until noon

  • Write poetry-my goal is to be like Emily Dickinson I suppose

  • Do splatter paint art-just take rainbow paints to my blank walls

  • Bake with as much chocolate as possible

  • Sleep more- like 3 hour naps in the afternoon

  • Scroll through TikTok- I was pressured into getting one and I kinda don't regret it

  • Re-watch The Crown, one of my favs

  • Learn all of Hayley Kiyoko's "Curious" dance- it will honestly take 3 months

  • Lie on my back and think-the most alluring of all of the options

In the next few days I would like to find balance, but realistically I probably won't find harmony or a sense of structure for another few weeks. I always search for a middle ground, especially when it comes to daily life. How can I peacefully integrate both of these goals into my weeks? I'm not sure. But I'll be ready to share when I figure it out.